What values, you say? "Meg" wrote it for a school assignment. Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. I mean, I KNOW people are coming hereI have proof! What ever shall I do? She tracks the feather smell all over the house, and goes crazy whenever I take it out of my pocket. Sure, certain members of my family do pay WAY to much attention to fasion, but that's just because of the expectations of society. Then everyone would cut and scrape themselves to be covered in scabs. Wheather you're saved or doomed, find out now! Anyway, seeya! I rule the Internet! ME: Yep. Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. But, it ended up making more sense than I anticipated (scary thought, huh). AhhhI see your confusion! It doesn't smell funny, (I asked my brother, since I don't have a sense of smell), it seems perfectly ordinary. But that is false! I'd tell it to my little brother as a bed time story. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. William Faulkner was featured in 1983 Guinness Book of World Records for this 1,288-word sentence from Absalom, Absalom! And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Suzana-Midnight-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby, Cheese-Monkey, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juice, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey, etc. I only mention this 'cause I've accidently spelled constipation instead of conspiracy a few times. I even came up with a mathematical explanation for why gambling is fun (while I was eating a hyper-speed dinner, thinking nothing of getting back to the slot machine). c)I have an extremly irrational fear of that. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Image by Carl Van Vechten, via Wikimedia Commons. Number Three: I could have studied and stuff. I also would like such persons to immediatly leave my site. For that theory to work, I'd have to be psychicor in possesion of a freaky time-traveling computer. | 0.79 KB, JSON | If you make a purchase, My Modern Met may earn an affiliate commission. Yeaha topic would be good. You'd have to find the end, of course. Why do weird people (myself included) obsess about monkeys? I think mine involved a jaunty song to sing. According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! about my site, and called me weird. I mean, come on! I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! Every fantasy the human mind has concieved exist at some place in the universe. I wonder if I've made the world record? You can thank my associate "Meg" she came up with the PSOA acronym. I have readers. Then, just wait for technology to "catch-up" (get it, catch-up, Ketchup? By the time you're eighty, you'll have enough ear jewelry to open up your own jewelry shop. No? Oh, yeah. I just can't seem to stop, though. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!! My mother visited relatives. How do you stop them? Awwwwisn't he cute? I'm bored. But now I realize that I am considerably more normal than the rest of my family. My mom did it to her because it was free. That's just how many times you have to click before you can leave. Especially since I just saw The Matrix: Reloaded. Insane, chaotichmmmmmI wonder who thought of it? Were hoping to rely on our loyal readers rather than erratic ads. If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? My mom and my stupid little 10-year old sister loves it, though. Is it possible to make less sense? Seeya. Yes. It would sneeze, then start it's eight-hour-long death hum. She was upset, because she had accidently run over an armidillo. I thought it was. Sometimes, it is lazy. I have to get up really early to leave for home. Since then, hundreds of authors have been inspired by the experimental writers sentence structure, including James Joyce, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Samuel Beckett, and other modern literature greats. You can read a little each day. Now I'd better go and torture my Moose with it:) I am officially back. We made a guild, and I wrote out the transcripts of the first ever Asparagus War in narrative form (mock epic, very cheesey) Since it's very, very long, I'll post it here to meet my imaginary word quota for the day! paste . Chomp" And he bites it. Jesus Christ is my lord and savior.You guys probably think that that is the worlds longest sentence, but it's not,because I just keep on adding commas, and it's pretty easy, if you think about it, so anyway there is this girl at school and she's my friend, and all but she's turning . You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! What has the world come to? Why else would they invest all that money to show commercials in their own store? Can a senile person write? An enemy so terrifying that Moose cannot stop shaking. She'll shake and run from it, then suddenly dive and bite it's head. If you want neat, go to some other site(though, as mentioned in Flaming Chickens Code:472 there is no such thing as a site better than this one). Number Nine: Now it's just getting redundant, isn't it? But one of my classes is work, and two others are horrible year-round classes. Emma Taggart is a Contributing Writer at My Modern Met. It'd be like when you go to the bottom of the ocean, only with gravity instead of pressure*shudders* Pressure is evil, too. They expand your mind, making you think about all the things they could do. There may also be evil little links that are designed to confuse you. And, are monkeys spelled monkies? It also shows the total number of sentences in a text file. Anyway, I promise to go back to my usual routine the next time I rant here. So if you have an infinite number of people, some are going to have entire books of coherent stuff. Physics is so FREAKIN' hard! An enemy so dangerous that Moose fears it above all others. Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. It's spiffy. Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. Most likely they test it BEFORE they add the extra stuff"Yep, Bob, this is some mighty pure water." 'Ah the power of cheese!' You seewhen it's hot, you want something cold to eat. *sighs* Why does my life have to be so weird? Neo is told that he has two choices. i hate dress shoes. We think. Which is exactly what it gets. What's that? Seeya. Too bad. You wanna play that way. After all, how can I be self derisive, and full of low expectations for this site if I KNOW people are hereseveral thousand of them in fact, in just a few months. It's a worthy cause! Oh, speaking of insane, I STILL need those much needed supplies for the Official Flaming-Chickens Lunar Colony! i'll copy and paste this to my site. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. "Lots of death, lots and lots of death in this section. Now MY brain meats feel explody. )so you can travel to the 5th Dimension like our scientists almost did. Wellnow that I think about itaccording to my theory, ALL conspiracies are real and mislabled "paranoid" people are really the only ones who see the truth. And not so cheesed off about the whole tootsie roll pop thing. that was recognised in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records was the longest ever written. So, we packed everthing up. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. All rights reserved. Or what if you took big ol' slobbery licks? But then I listened to some of the new music I put on my site and mellowed out. 516 words 'In the event that the Purchaser defaults in the payment of any instalment of purchase price, taxes, insurance, interest, or the annual charge described elsewhere herein, or shall default in the performance of any other obligations set forth in this . I am now barophobic (afraid of gravity). As inshe read the ENTIRE Longest Text Ever. There are now longer sentences in English writing. Someone could have super-disolving spit, or watery-spit. Even though air is light, that much air adds up. I'm finnaly back! It doesn't matter. My character is actually dodging the stupid rocks better now then when I controlled him. And so, I'll take a trip down memory lane, to the dark depths of the past, to when I decided to make this page. You mean that I'm just randomly responding regardless of your reactions? That made little sense. Any miniute now. We can only hope that the digital camera manufacturers are kinder masters than the evil Kodak Lords. I see. I'm back. (may the moose be with you) And now I am back. Come on, I won't hurt you, I promise! Thank you for sending me this email. As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. I have checked the email from {name of the person} and will contact you. Emma has contributed to various art and culture publications, with an aim to promote and share the work of inspiring modern creatives. But the secret doesn't exist so they are stupid. Or maybe you're just skimming. At one point, I read an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. You got me started. Eventually, this would become a monthly tradition. I haven't exactly advertised this site. The food was superb, (our food came the exact opposite of how we ordered it, and half of the onion rings were missing) Then we joyfully returned to our game(my sister and the ex-con played my mom) We spent hours there (from 5p.m.-7:15p.m.) Obviously I at least have a computerso, back to the organ grinders. If I were to suddenly convert this entrie site into a *shudders* Backstreet Boys fan site or something, you wouldn't be any more suprised than I would be if my brother woke up one day and suddenly realized that he's shallow. Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. I'm back. Very difficult equation Math Forum . Shoot them down like the dogs they are! and Jones: Sho, Kernel; sho now and catching him as he fell and commandeering the first passing wagon to take him to the house and carry him up the front steps and through the paintless formal door beneath its fanlight imported pane by pane from Europe which Judith held open for him to enter with no change, no alteration in that calm frozen face which she had worn for four years now, and on up the stairs and into the bedroom and put him to bed like a baby and then lie down himself on the floor beside the bed though not to sleep since before dawn the man on the bed would stir and groan and Jones would say, flyer I am, Kernel. Right now, I'm just typing so that no one can say that I've been slacking off. Isn't vast a funny word? After much argument, my father was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue north. It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". We thank you! What is the alternative, you ask? So, predictably, here I am. This, of course would expand the market for such products. *sniffle* Why must this be? We were supposed to write about a cherished child-hood toy, and attempt to turn our fond memories into a commercial. Some of the pages of this site contain a link encouging the two and a half people to e-mail the Patron Saint of Paper Clips. They are not great neccesarily because of the content, (although that helps some) they are great because of their sheer length. Yeah. I'm like the little engine that could. YeahI knowpathetic. I'm getting bored, so I think I'm done for the day. Math is so picky. HOLY WAX! . I've finnally figured out sorta, maybe, kinda, how to do stuff to make it more real. Why, because they assume it's better quality. You KNOW I ran out of imaginary money last week when I bought that imaginary country. Some of my pages have stuff written in to make search engines recognize me, but it doesn't seem to be working. WHAT!? I said "The Union fought" With a crack, snaple and pop, some random synapses in her brain connected in the right order and she said "CONFEDERACY!!!" In any case, wouldn't the blinkie light help night-vision cameras see in the dark? But it's legs were still moving and it was alive. Plus, the fire gradually gets louder, and hotter, and smokier. were stuck in here, (alone my dear) and well problem never get out so dont start to shout. Proud to be weird. It's stupid and ironic and just shouldn't exist in a better world. *pauses* *groans* I'm sorry for that pun (pierced, hooked, getit?). theni got to go stand while people said a lot of stuff. It was as if it had been just sitting therewaiting for me to discover it. As we all know, the world is going to end in about 380,695 days! I don't care if I'd get home only an hour or so before I normaly do. Follow him at@jdmagness, by Josh Jones | Permalink | Comments (30) |. We never spam. I pity them, I really do. As long as the bear blends in, you know? For instance, I wrote: "I am the Crazy Taco! Perhaps Kodak is actually a front organization for a shadowy governmental system that controls the entire world and didn't want mankind to obtain the freedom of the stars and so tried to sabotauge the space program even though it didn't work as well as they planned. Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. Obviously, you know this. No? No! And you probably suspect that it is something pathetic. I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. I tend to make those tiny mistakes, and get bad grades, even if I understand the concepts. Work. We resumed quizzing and she got every question on the worksheet correct. I'll rant and rave and ramble about the EVILS of sunlight. But, the wings were'nt really special. TWEET. It didn't. That must be it. But studying the way that Faulkner wrote when he turned to the subjects he knew best provides an object lesson on how powerful a literary resource intimacy can be. Pure means, well, no extra stuff. Me and Josh ate lots and lots of sugar, and it's late at nite and everything is funny but we can't laugh 'cause everybody is sleepin' so it's even funnier but ever since we drank the water we sobered up even though we weren't drunk but we ate sugarlots and lots of sugar. Pastebin is a website where you can store text online for a set period of time. and even if they could it wouldn't do them any good because it would scare them instead of the aformentioned individual. I just keep going, and going and going. It's bad enough to go to school, leave school, go to work, leave work, do homework and then wait for my dad to get off of the computer so that I can do stuff. Even the air is conspiring to squish me! I'm leaving nowI have some destruction to do. This is one of the weirdest sites: or your money back! Hello, everyone! Somy lack of a car and driving skills force me to use the bus, which comes for me 45 minutes before my school even starts. Anyway, gotta go! It's true, and all, but I have no proof about wal-mart, or certain fast food resteraunts. I confirmed that the Union was Northern and Free, and that the Confederacy was Southern and Slave. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Of course, you won't want to do that becuase you still need more earrings so people won't think you wear the same ones over and over again. **** MY NAVEL ITCHES!! And absolutly NO air-pressure. What I mean is, you wouldn't be very proud if the average person said that they just took a dookey on the toilet, and you wouldn't be very proud if they knew who fought against the Union in the Civil War. Please read our disclosure for more info. And that's just what I can list from memory. What an eccentric idea! I'm back! OrI could just continue to write about finding a topic. I added to the lenghth of the LTE without even thinking! Or suffer my blindingly moronic nail messages. YES, I'M YELLING! I have more stuff to write, but I gotta go right now. I think. HA-HA! HenceforthCode: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. ", or "Wow, I never knew that!" I'm just bored. Welltwo can play by THOSE rules. Did you know that there is over two miles of air sitting on you right now? Right now. I asked her how you dress on the forth of july (she said nice) I asked what the colors red, white and blue were (pretty). How can any company that takes so many "wholesome" pictures not be? In other words, they take all that extra "stuff" out to make it pure. But it's all good. Now her sister sounds an alarm whenever she sees the evil feather. So my goal changed from surviving to laughing evilly while my character died. Although I acted like an idiot. Experience vague, pain-like sensations when you're not paying attention) This has been a public service announcement. So he kept her out of the Matrix, and she saw the problem, and entered the Matrix to fix it. A profound statement, if I ever heard one. Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. This has been my hourly Public Service Announcement that I only do when I feel like it. Hello, everyone! Speaking of publishing, I do plan on somehow, someday publishing this as the first rambling narrative that makes no sense, and is about as interesting as rereading the almanac. And then go door to door distributing it. So far two whole people (to my knowledge) have read the entire thing, and a few people have skimmed it. Anyway, yeah, I'm a furry, but since I'm a young furry, I can't really do as much as I would like to do in the fandom. It'll be covered in chicken feathers, and shaped like a chicken. That's right, a sword! It was down for a whole day or so 'cause of all the traffic I got from my new quizes. Happy? It was fun, but exhausting. 46 min ago If you have some extra time, you can read it at marienbadmylove.com. Am I enjoying asking retorical questions? Why can't I have more readers?! I was looking forward to having A elective, while everyone else was enjoying three or fouror even more. Purposly damaging the skin so you can look "attractive". 'a' being the shortest side, 'b' being the middle side and 'c' being the longest side of a right angled triangle. How do you know I even exist? But my idiotic body has an automatic alarm clock, or something. He would do everything in his power to keep his dream from becoming reality. I know, you were just crushed that nothing new was happening. i wandered around for 20 minutes looking for a cell phone. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. YOU WILL NOT SINK MY CHEERIO!! I now officially have proof that someone has been here! Sure, some of this "fasion" stuff is cool and all, but all it shows is that you had the three and three-quarters brain cells required to copy someone else's "look". There is a world where you are a slave to your TOASTER OVEN. Maybe you're lost. I bet it's spelled monkeys. I mean, after all, I made this site. But, if it had remained that way, I would have had no impetus to continue my pointlessly insane ranting. In all those 911 shows, people wake up and their house is engulfed in flames. d)I already did that in a past life and it sucked. "Yep, Bill, time to dump the arsnic in so it tastes pure!" Ooooooo! This means that we only have a very short while to prepare. I'm leaving. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. What? Okay. I know. Now think of 100 people typing randomly. (No, I don't like any of those creepy "pop" stars. I for one, didn't know about such dire consequences for not deliberatly failing classes. *let the panic begin! A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! Hmmmmintersting. Not even my friends*sniffle* The just ignore this poor, pathetic little page. All because YOU tried to convince me that I was crazy. She said she hurt it the first time, and wanted to put it out of it's misery, so she went back and ran over it 11 more times. To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider, When William Faulkner Set the World Record for Writing the Longest Sentence in Literature: Read the 1,288-Word Sentence from, 100+ Online Degree & Mini-Degree Programs. Oooo..I'm a poet, and don't I know it? I see you have no reaction to that, do you Hypothetical Reader? They just like how I know lots of pointless laws and random facts. I worked sorta hard on this. The world's longest non-life sentence, according to the "Guinness Book of Records", was imposed on Thai pyramid scheme fraudster Chamoy Thipyaso, who was jailed for 141,078 years in 1989. And then the quality will rise. When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. So when you kill, or whatever, in the game, you are actually ending life somewhere in the universe. Even more incredible, this time it's someone I don't even know! Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast-food resteraunts, and brand name items. Today I will be mercifully brief. Girls began wearing skimpier, and skimpier bathing suits. *blinks* And I STILL can't remember what else I was gonna say to you people. And secret? Goodbye for nowNow I'm back. I wrote about furby, and how it was fun to watch it die. Alrighty then. I think this is so cool that he spent this time on it but who would really read this all, omg i have to read this about a week and im done and i just want to say this have made my day, i have wrote a story which has 12083 words in it. And "Mr. Owl" replies "OneTwooThree! So, everyone went to the beach and got tans. 5 Wonderfully Long Literary Sentences by Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald & Other Masters of the Run-On, Seven Tips From William Faulkner on How to Write Fiction, William Faulkner Reads from As I Lay Dying, Josh Jonesis a writer and musician based in Durham, NC. Soair pressure can be a good thing. Today, I'm here to salute the Pointless Signs Of America! What kind of reasoning is that? Remember to send your answers to my sanity quiz to the e-mail account, flamingchickens333@hotmail.com Oh, and once I refer to myself in the first person again, the handbook quote is over. Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? Imagine a number line that points in the positive and negative direction. She agrees, but only after seeing how important it is to him. Goodwhat? And so the week went by. The vendors get oodles of cash, and the kids get ice cream.